Reflecting what I wrote a month ago and here we are now:
December 3, 2015:
Sitting at Barnes and Noble, eating the best Maple Walnut Scone ever, while Dean is working on the next step God is leading us to. We believe and desire it to be to Greenville, SC. We were able to grab a quick bite with Jackson. Blessed. So, is this a glimpse of the future? I hope so.
I have to admit that when I woke up today, I felt a ping of excitement for this short trip. Haven’t felt that way in a very long time. This is good. But I’m trying to not overthink or over plan or, let’s be honest, even worry about it all. It is ALL in God’s hands.
He decides. He directs our paths.
We pray we are being obedient to His leading and truly hearing His voice not our own.
I know that Dean is excited and together, we walk this walk. …..so why am I teary? I believe when I bring my troubles to the light, God works and shows me so much because I’m an external processor. My stronghold is in the Lord. So here’s the teary-list.
1. I am leaving my home state. Born and raised in NC.
2. I am leaving Alex. Which is weird, not weird, because he left us in 2008, but I think he is still in NC and perhaps even in the Raleigh area….so my hope has been that either I will run into him and then like a Disney movie, he will remember that I love him and all will be restored (silly rabbit) OR he will decide to come find me and I’ll be so easy to find (silly rabbit). My friend, Kara, reminded me that “God is bigger than a state line.” Yeah, I know that but that darn Mom’s heart gets me every time.
3. I am leaving “my person” One L – well, actually, my plan….ahem…I mean my prayer is that she goes with us! So there. Those 3 things are enough to put me on the sofa, eating Cheetos and Chips/Salsa for days, crying my eyes out. But wait – there is even more.
4. It’s Christmas time – all the songs “merry and bright” weighing on my heart.
5. My time at Grace Church is ending– another place where God used amazing, loving people to restore my heart to Him, His people and the lost ones. WE MUST FIND THEM! WE MUST LOVE THEM!
6. More mass shootings – yesterday’s in San Bernadino, California and then in Paris and so much pain in this world.
7. We are selling our house – we believe that putting it on the market is our next step and then see what God does.
8. We have no set plans for what’s next regarding where to live, or find work.
Oh, I could make a top ten list but that’s not the point. The point is that we are confident in God’s leading in our lives. Not only in His daily provision which is abundant, but in our entire journey which will not end until God decides it ends.
I joke about “Aren’t we too old for this moving and going”? HA! People have been doing this for thousands of years. Real people, old people, even older people.
So, on one hand, I feel like Abraham when God simply said to “Go forth from your country, and from your relatives…” to an unknown place, no more details. Just go.
And on the other hand, I feel like Mary Poppins where the wind is blowing and just when these beautiful new relationships have developed with new family, it’s time to go.
UPDATE a month later: Today is January 2, 2016.
- We have sold our home – in 5 days – a week before Christmas!
- We are packing and getting ready to move out in 3 weeks!
We did our part, we put our house on the market. We will continue to do what we can/are to do so that we can experience what only God can/will do. We can trust Him because He is a good Father, a loving Father, our
“Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace.”